Dear Me- Love Letters to My Inner Child..

I really did have huge intentions of being further in all of my books than I am and after my last therapy visit I am revisiting the first chapter in my DBT Skills Workbook as I feel I misunderstood some of the exercises. Either way it was necessary to do more and since I'm at M's and he's had to work I am making sure I do some work! 

First... The Self-Esteem Checklist. Green I try to do daily/routinely and actively remind myself, pink I am trying to get to a daily/routine and the few yellow are difficult and I know I need to start including them. 

the yellow are significantly deep to me but I'll get this whole page green eventually! 

Page 4... A recipe we all need to follow...

The next Exercise...

 The exercise... I was reading my first one and I really wasn't nice to myself? I feel like I wrote it like it was bad that I don't remember thinking that way. I noted on the back that I've recently been diagnosed with ADHD and Autism lvl 1, and not day dreaming like other kids is common. I am simply different like so many others. 

Knowing this now, I'll write it knowing it's just me...

As I sit here and think about this, again I feel like it is difficult to say I remember ever thinking about what to be when I grew up. I remember making mud pies out of mud, mayo and sprinkles. I remember wanting an Easy Bake oven for years and I loved baking, but never did I consider that a future. 

In 9th grade I remember loving science, it was honestly my favorite classes always. I'd told my dad once that I wanted to be a physical scientist (I was in love with my Physical Science class.. absolutely my favorite class). He actually laughed at me and said "How about you reach for something more attainable." I don't recall ever saying those words again. By the end of high school I was looking to go into child psychology but I realized while taking some classes it was not the right field for me. (Now I wish I'd stuck with Psychology, especially while on this journey but I guess this journey wouldn't be here if I had). To be honest I just assumed I'd be a wife and mother eventually. Sitting here twice divorced and unable to have children I guess that assumption was very wrong hahaha. 

I feel like this isn't much but my childhood really wasn't like everyone else's I guess. I'm ok with that as I learn about myself now. 

~~ T