People Pleasing?

 This was not in my thoughts until literally 2 hrs ago. I’ve had many make comments about being too nice my entire life. This morning I was leaving work an hour early. One of the boys has been needing a ride to work so I checked if it was still needed. Once I knew it was Alicia I set off to make things easier and tried to offer to instead. I called 3 times lol… determined to try to keep her from having to do much extra. Once I got her things were very easily done and I really needed to not try so hard. As I got home and walked through the gate I thought about how determined I was to remove something from her to make things easier I. Everyone else, then thought about how I try to always do what I can for anyone to make things easier, I will push my own things aside to assist others because to me they’re more important and shouldn’t have to carry or do so much, if I can make things easier for anyone I will try to. I think I always have thought that way, that I need to just help everyone in anyway. I guess it makes me feel like I am useful? Needed? Sometimes I feel like I am supposed to be that way, shouldn’t we always help or do things for others? Especially those we care about? When does it become too much and more people pleasing than just caring? 

I have worked hard at being self aware, so I catch things. I try not to ask what I can do too often because I have caught where I don’t accept no as an answer. There has to be something come on haha. I just wonder if this is something I should talk to my therapist about, I see her today but the sessions always kind of choose themselves.. but I may have to bring it up. 

I often feel like I am never doing enough, even like today. I got off at 7am, I journaled and I am spontaneously doing a blog post. I should take a nap and eat but I feel it is more important that I maybe do dishes so Alicia doesn’t have to, I need to read one of the many books I have been reading, starting the book I plan to use in this blog. But I’m tired and feel like I’ve done quite a bit but is that really justifiable? I should definitely do more. There are many hours left and I need not waste them, these things will not be accomplished if I don’t set out to do them. Maybe I can learn to please myself as well as others haha.. is there a balance in all of that? I feel like there have to be people who found the balance between pleasing themselves as well as others.

This post didn’t have much thought involved, people pleasing came to mind, I am definitely a people pleaser and I will also need to work on that now haha.. 

~~ T