I am to first separate the components I valued at 5-10, and fill in those names on the Action Worksheet on the next page (pg. 38). Once those are in place, I am then to identify one intention for each of those valued components, which will help me make my life feel more fulfilled.
I am then to identify several actions that I am willing to commit to doing that will move me forward towards my intention. It notes that I also need to acknowledge when I'm willing to begin that commitment.
The purpose of this activity is to fill my life "with activities that are important" to me. The final sentences on Pg. 37, before the actual exercise would previously led me to close the book and be done. "Creating a life that you value can often help you deal with other situations that are distressing and less desirable. Having a fullfilling life can give you something to look forward to when you're doing something you don't like, and it can make you feel stronger during times of distress." Instead, I'm sitting here significantly different than I ever have been wondering what it would be like if I actually felt my life was fullfilling. It's interesting and we'll see what happens haha. **I'm also aware it's going to take more than writing this blog, nothing is effortless.
****Editing, started July 12 and just coming back to it after discussing with my therapist. She had a different version and I am going to add her updates here. It has an affect on how I do the actual activity.
* Identify the components of your life having a high ideal of importance on my life but having a lower actual effort <--- what means the most to me but I am putting in little effort.
* Identify the components where you think you have more work to do, then fill in the names of those components on the worksheet.
* Be as specific as you can with your actions and specify a time frame.
This change makes it so not each important area needs more effort. Take self-care as an example. Well, I will admit that I don't always look at it as self-care and feel guilty if I take time out to just sit, unwind, smoke a little and watch a couple episodes of Futurama or Family Guy. But I actively try to remove sugar from my diet or choose to eat certain things to get it, I am working on my mental health daily, I've been trying to be more present, draw on occasion and so forth. I feel like Self-Care is actually receiving the majority of my effort at the moment; even this blog is a form of self-care. I feel this adjustment makes things a little less worrisome because I was trying to figure out how to give more to so many important areas of my life hahaha.
Committed Actions Worksheet, pg. 38 DBT Skills Workbook.
(1) A Component of my life that I value is: Family. I am putting this first because I've wanted to fix my relationships with my family. We are distant, we didn't learn coming together. I want a relationship with my nieces even if I'm not there. I literally have no idea how to. I don't know what to talk about, I just kinda sit on the other end of a phone trying to be involved with no idea what to say or do. It's a struggle to talk in the phone at all, with anyone but when it's important like this it's even harder. It needs to be a priority in this journey.
My intention for this component is: My intention is to form a relationships with my nieces and nephew, reconnect with my family including my brother and sister in laws, as well as my stepdad.
The committed actions that I'm willing to take include the following:
* Texting for easy quick contact, if one of my nieces has Snapchat I'd also snap with them but I definitely can text Iris. Start texting Ashley and checking on her, try Liz as well.
* I want to try calling once a week, even if the calls are only for a few minutes. I just ..the fuck do I say?? Seriously. I have trouble talking to adults as it is..
* I need to call Robby once a week on the way to work. He wants to talk and I should and need to. He's basically my Dad and I need to invest in that relationship.
(2) A Component of my life that I value is: Friends and Social Life.
My intention for this component is: I decided to include social life because I have some friends that do trivia, go to local clubs and dj. I have wanted to go but it is really hard for me to do things alone. I keep trying but it's insanely stressful and my anxiety goes nuts but I want to keep trying.
My Friends.. they're amazing and so many. I truly am lucky. I've had several try to connect but honestly I was not ready. I didn't want to talk about the heavy stuff because I was leaving it behind and it was my experience. I didn't want to add more opinions and I didn't want to dwell on it. I had a lot to do and deal with on top of trying to start my journey forward with my mental health. I wasn't ready to be that social. I'd actually just realized that in therapy this week, I wasn't ready but also I didn't know how to communicate that. I felt guilty and so I avoided instead.
Now I want to repair and change this.
The committed actions that I'm willing to take include the following:
* Meet someone other than Lindsey and Candy for a meal or coffee once a week. (I've been thinking of the post for a couple weeks and have already set up dinner with a dear friend).
* Set time aside to walk with Beckie, spend more time with Beckie. Even find out if we can call each other a little. I know my issue with phones but for my people it is always worth it.
* Start using my Calendar on my phone to set alerts to remind me to check in on friends and get in contact. This will help my forgetfulness.
(3) A Component of my life that I value is: Spirituality and Religion
My intention for this component is: Start reading my fucking books! I have two I got just for this journey, Witchcraft for Healing and one on Shadow Work. I really want to be more Spiritual and I have constantly struggled to find my path and walk it. Pieces feel right but nothing fully pulls me anywhere and I feel the desire to be spiritual.
The committed actions that I'm willing to take include the following:
* Start using my Tarot Cards, pull cards twice a week, set an alert on your calendar app.
* Dedicate at least 30 min to reading 1 of the two books, 3x a week.
* Be more active in the new Spirituality group on FB since I know some members. Connecting can help open more up and I am sure I could use connecting. Also helps me see how others practice and see the different paths of others. We learn from each other. I will check the group at least twice a week and interact on no less than 5 posts.
(4) A Component of my life that I value is: Ugh.. Fuck Man- Work. This is absolutely my plateau. I'm fucking terrified of looking and leaving. As much as I hate it, it's easy. I know what I do and it's cake but fuck this company. I work for a deplorable company that treats us like shit, no training, not enough employees and I recently realized that they only strive for the bare minimum to meet expectations and only to a point. They expect mediocre work and damn it my work is not mediocre! I am not mediocre! Yet I can not bring myself to take any actions to look for anything, it literally makes me feel panicked and I hate that feeling. I'm listing it because I KNOW it's important I'm just .. ugh.
My intention for this component is: My first step intent is my resume.
The committed actions that I'm willing to take include the following:
* Find my damn resume
* Determine if I can even update it with my iPad, if not decide where you will then update it. You gave a couple options regarding people with computers.
* Update your resume, get help so I sell yourself correctly. I am much more than the position I hold at my job, I am not mediocre and I need help showing that.
* Decide where you want to do, is food completely out. Can you fake pee? Can you dry up long enough to drug test? Are you really considering school and changing fields completely??? So very much to think about!! But you can spend time thinking about it and journaling about it as well.
I am starting with four. I feel the overwhelming urge to continue and lust them all but I know that will overwhelm me and I want to learn proper balance in my life. So here is my start. I will have all started and/or going by Sept. 1, 2023.
~~ T
